She Let Go - Ernest Holmes / Rev. Safire Rose*

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.



She let go of the fear.  She let go of the judgments.  She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.  She let go of the committee of indecision within her.  She let go of all the 'right' reasons.  Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.



She didn't ask anyone for advice.  She didn't read a book on how to let go...  She didn't search the scriptures.  She just let go.  She let go of all of the memories that held her back.  She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.  She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn't promise to let go.  She didn't journal about it.  She didn't write the projected date in her Day-Timer.  She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.  She didn't check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.  She just let go.



She didn't analyze whether she should let go.  She didn't call her friends to discuss the matter.  She didn't do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.  She didn't call the prayer line.  She didn't utter one word.  She just let go.



No one was around when it happened.  There was no applause or congratulations.  No one thanked her or praised her.  No one noticed a thing.  Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.



There was no effort.  There was no struggle.  It wasn't good and it wasn't bad.  It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be.  A small smile came over her face.  A light breeze blew through her.  And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
                                                                                                             
~ Ernest Holmes/Rev. Safire Rose
*I have seen credits of authorship to both

You Already Know

You already know.  The Spirit is with you, and the Spirit is in you.  John 14:7

I have read these words before, but they never meant what they did to me this morning. 
 

God has always been a real presence in my life.  There have been only a few moments when I wondered if I was kidding myself about God, but instantly returned to a deep and abiding faith that God is real and present.  For that I am forever grateful to my mother and other guiding lights in my life that helped me know and love this Creator of the Universe.  Better yet, helped me know that God loves even me.

The idea that some spend even a moment unsure or in disbelief that God is 'out there' watching over us and all of the people we love is incredibly sad.  Sad doesn't even come close, actually.  It breaks my heart.  Yet, whether or not someone believes in God I have always felt better remembering that God believes in them.  Some may not feel God's presence, but present God is.

The Spirit.  The breath of God.  The air that we breathe.  These are with us every moment of our lives, every place that we go, every thing that we do.  God is with us.

And God is in us.

I already know.

The Bible tells me so.

Lifting My Eyes

I will lift up my eyes unto the hills, from whence comes my help.  My help comes from the Lord.
~ Psalms 121

The words of this Psalm have always been to me mysterious and beautiful and never more so than when I was recently hiking with friends in the Rocky Mountains - specifically Pike's Peak.

The plan was to climb half-way up the first day, then on to the top and back to the camp on day 2, descending to the base on the third day.  I was excited about this climb and had been preparing for months - years actually. 

And there we were at the foot of the trail leading up the mountain, everything and everyone as ready as we could possibly be.  The cameras came out and pictures documenting the first steps of this journey were taken.  The adventure had begun.

And I was scared.  Really, really scared. 

Had I done enough to get ready?  Did I bring enough water?  Would I be able to manage the altitude as well as the additional 30+ pounds I was carrying in the pack on my back?  Would I have any trouble breathing, even though my asthma was well controlled and hadn't been a problem for years?  Would I hold back the rest of the group?  Would I disappoint anyone? Would I disappoint myself??

Fifteen years earlier I had been at the foot of another trail in the Rocky Mountains wondering whether I should try walking up a trail marked 'Moderate Difficulty' and determined then and there never to wonder again whether I could take on a physical challenge and miss the opportunity of splendor and the feeling of great accomplishment.

So there I was, facing the largest physical challenge of my life and once again wondering if I could make it.  And then we started.

Step after step, breath after breath, I made my way with the words of this Psalm ringing in my ears - the music, actually, as arranged by the inimitable John Rutter.  I would look up at the path ahead of me and see incredible beauty.  I often cried at the blue of the sky, or the sound of the wind in the trees or the ever increasing distance of the town I had eaten breakfast in only that morning.  I was doing this thing! 

And I would look up and see the obstacles.  A path that I knew still had miles and miles to walk. Huge mounds of rocks that needed to be got around.  Seemingly lots and lots of obstacles.  These sometimes seemed overwhelming.

So I looked back down.  And took one more step.  And another.

It occurred to me that we are always told to keep our eyes up, focused on our goal, when often times the best strategy is to take the next step, then the next, focused on the task immediately at hand.  What we have set out to accomplish will be more confidently done and more completely appreciated if we just keep focusing on this moment, now.

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my strength.

My help - my strength - comes from the Lord.  In this hour.  In this minute.  In this moment.

And in the taking of the next step.

I made it to the top, by the way.  And back again.  One step at a time.

Transformation

A lot of years ago there was a collection of post-apocalyptic movies with the main character 'Mad Max' played by a much younger Mel Gibson.  At the time, a phrase was used over and over again that I thought was just stupid - so stupid it was funny.  And I repeated it sometimes as proof that sometimes things were just inane.

That phrase? "Wherever you go, there you are."

Since those long-ago days I have done a lot more reading and even more 'questing' in the ways of the spirit and have since realized that this seemingly inane phrase is actually ancient spiritual wisdom that tells a profound and inescapable truth. 

Wherever you go, there you are

For a lot of the years of my life I thought that if I changed my address or my job or my relationship (or my weight or hair color or style or clothes, etc., etc., etc.,) then somehow everything would magically get better or more interesting or successful.  Not doing well in a class?  Drop it or change schools.  Job isn't going well, find another one.  Marriage not working out?  Just go, already!

But.  Wherever you go, there you are.

It didn't matter how far I ran or how many times I twisted and turned trying to get away from something or someone or to something (or someone) else, wherever 'I' went, there 'I', ultimately, still was. 

If I wanted something to change in my life I first had to change me. Transformation from the inside out, I began to understand, was the only true path to happiness.  So I set about getting the kind of help and mentoring and advice and wise teaching that hopefully would help me to become the person I actually wanted to take along on the trip, wherever it was I was going.  And, thank God, the teachers that came my way and the help I got made huge changes to my heart.

One example.... my husband and I had decided several years ago that our 'no divorce decrees, only death certificates' unofficial promise we made on our wedding day just wasn't working for us anymore and we decided that once the children were all graduated, we would 'move on' and call it finished.  I tearfully shared this news with my work team at the time.  When we made this decision, we had about 18 months of wait time before the kids were all out of the roost, and the idea of just spinning wheels for 18 months seemed like a total waste of a life, so I decided 'why not work on me' in the meantime. 

Thank God.  Because that made all the difference.  Instead of divorcing at 24 years of marriage, we will be celebrating 29 years soon.  When I announced to that same work group that we had just celebrated our 25th anniversary, the question was asked 'what did you do?'  And I answered, softly, 'I changed my heart.'  

Then my colleague restated his question 'No, Ruth, what did you DO for your anniversary?!' After laughing until the tears flowed - that being a classic Ruth moment - I let them know we went out for a lovely dinner.

So, transformation that resulted in a changed heart and a saved marriage.  And two very happy people.

Then, recently I heard a sermon on a Latin phrase that put a new and interesting twist on the previous phrase that I had come to respect and repeat to others.  This 'new' Latin phrase is:

VOCATUS
at que non
VOCATUS
Deus aderit

The translation is, simply, 'Bidden or not Bidden, God is present'.  And there I was with another epiphany, goosebumps-up-and-down-my-arm moment. 

Wherever I go, there You are!

In the air that I breath.  In the coming and going moments of every day and every night.  In my joy and in my sorrow.  In my victory and in my defeat.  In my proud moments as well as every one of my shameful moments.  In my private time and when I am surrounded by people - friendly or not.  Wherever I go, there YOU are!

And if I can't go anywhere without You, then You can't go anywhere without me. 

We are stuck with each other. 

My own, personal God.

My One, personal God.

And that is the ultimate transformation!

So, How About a Picture?

It worked!  So, how about if I include a picture?

Technology is Wonderful!

My first raw experience with computers gave me the impression of more work and longer days.  The promise was for increased efficiency and more productivity, but the real draw for companies was the ability to hold people closer and expect quicker response and turn around. 

And then they gave out Blackberries, and 24/7 became a standard concept.  Remember when once upon a time, if someone got back to you within 24 hours on an email, you were impressed?  No, I don't, either.

And most everyone that knows me intimately has heard of my 'going postal' on a printer that was guilty only of requiring to be hand-fed paper one piece at a time.  Not really a problem when all you wanted was one copy at a time.  But I had to print a report that was 100 pages long.  I met my deadline and the printer met my office floor.  Several times. 

But I am discovering that technology CAN by my friend. 

Since social networking, I have regained a world of friends that were lost to me once upon a graduation almost 40 years ago.  (That number is positively scary and moderated only by the fact that I feel more alive now than I ever did once upon that time!) We have reconnected, rediscovered the joys of the town where we grew up, and started gathering with just the mention of someone coming in to town.  With this 'new' old group of friends I have found people interested in camping and sailing and dancing and making pancakes at 4:00 in the morning and canoeing and walking and just being together.

And then there is Facebook, which opened up the world even more - beyond high school classes - and into the wider world of global contacts.  At first my impression of Facebook was random updates going into the ether and wondering why, really, anyone would care? 

And then I learned that ministries come in all forms and can even be fitted in to 420 characters at a time. 

And now? I discover that I can write and email and post to my blog - which is my attempt to discipline myself into writing which will lead me eventually to me dream of writing a book.  How wonderful!  And this email is my first experiment with doing just that.

I hope it works.

Breathing God?

I am just beginning to read The Naked Now by Richard Rohr and am struck by some very simple yet profound thoughts.  The Jewish name for God, YHWH, was considered unspeakable.  It wasn't that it was a 'taboo' to speak the name of God, as I always believed, but that it was literally not something that could be shaped or spoken by the human mouth.

But it gets even more interesting.  The word wasn't spoken..... because it could only be breathed!  The thinking goes that the proper 'pronunciation' for YHWH is actual the sound of inhaling, then exhaling.

Imagine!  The thing we do naturally from the moment of birth to the moment we leave this earth - from womb to tomb as the boys used to say - is breathe.  And in so doing, we say/pray the name of God every moment of every day, sleeping and awake, in our torment or despair as well as during our bliss.  God is available to everyone in every moment.

This author went on to say something - not really 'new' but stated in such a simple way - that it made me laugh out loud! There is no Christian or Jewish or Muslim or Hindu way of breathing.  There is no American or English or African or Chinese way of breathing.  There is no wealthy or poor way of breathing.  We all breathe the same way, the same air, for the same reason for the same moments of our lives.

Not long ago I listened to a lecture that beautifully overlaps with this line of thought.   It was suggested that the word for 'heaven' in the ancient text actually means 'the air that we breathe', so that when we pray the Universal Christian 'Our Father',  we are actually identifying 'our Father' as the air that we breathe.  All around us, all the time, inescapable except in death.  And even then?

"And isn't it wonderful that breath, wind, spirit and air are precisely nothing - and yet everything?"

"Just keep breathing consciously in this way and you will know that you are connected to humanity from cavemen to cosmonauts, to the entire animal world, and even to the trees and the plants.  And we are now told that the atoms we breathe are physically the same as the stardust fro the original Big Bang.  Oneness is no longer merely a vague mystical notion, but a scientific fact."

Breathing God.  Breathing God!