The Peace of God

And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

I'm sitting here, looking at my sweet, confused right-now-very-angry mother and wondering at the twists and turns that life throws us all at any given moment. She's safe. She's well cared for. She's actually relatively healthy, but life has thrown her and everyone who cares for her the regrettable twist of dementia that keeps her constantly lost in time and space. And often scared and angry. 

Who can blame her?

My heart consistently breaks for this once-competent, independent woman who now depends on the kindness of everyday strangers to do everything for her. And other than loving her and trying to be her memory and her one unchanging constant, there isn't one thing I can do to change her situation. 

And to be unhappy about things I can't change is as pointless as being unhappy about the things I can. 

So. I continue to pray for that peace that transcends understanding, continue to be constantly grateful for loving caretakers and friends, and sit here thankful that I still have this remarkable woman in my life teaching me lessons of faith and grace and love. 

Always love. 

Published in God in the Life of Our Members, Pine Ridge Presbyterian Church, May 2017